I began writing on my free blog today about marriage longevity and being a surviving spouse. What started out as a short piece has turned into a two part-er.
The words seem to fill my head faster than I could get them out. Then I realized it would have been nice to break down the fundamentals of the “Love is” verse. So here we go on fine tuning a marriage.
Love is patient
This is a hard one for me. I was not gifted with patience in any aspect of my life. When I began asking God to develop my patience He made me a manager. God has a sense of humor it seems. This fundamental in marriage is right up there with forgiveness. VERY IMPORTANT. I believe it is harder for women than men since women are emotional beings.
To conquer this one earlier in the relationship will make growing old together more pleasant. It can be frustrating when he says he’ll be home at a certain time or promises to get something done but then “forgets” or “something else comes up.” As he gets older, you might need to help him remember these commitments.
Keep your patience and your sanity by investing in your spouse and your faith.
Love is kind
This supports patience. It is like a diffuser if you will. If you can train yourself to instantly analyze an action or comment for kindness patience seems to be the outcome.
- Knowledge – does it stem from a place of facts or is it emotionally driven
- Inspiring – is it meant to hurt or build up
- Necessary – Can it wait or is the action helpful to the cause.
- Diligent – Does it function from a place of caring for the topic at hand
You’ll find that if you defer to kindness in the relationship, it will be reciprocated. If it isn’t you are in the wrong relationship.
Love does not envy
This will shorten a relationship in record time by way of strife. Being jealous of your spouse by way of their family relationships, or any other aspect of their being is not only adolescent, but it is a love killer.
If you have a tendency to offend easily when your mate is speaking to an attractive person who is flirtatious, you will most certainly kill their affection for you. They desire to be with you. If your mate is following through with the advances, you are with the wrong person. Be warned married a person that is not committed to you it is your fault. You accepted the challenge of reinventing yourself in order to attract and maintain your relationship. It is not the fault of the third party.
Love does not Boast
In bragging yourself up you make your spouse feel inferior. Especially if you’re embellishing. It becomes self-esteem NOT self-worth. Ask yourself do I possess this quality? Am I relying on others to validate me?
Women tend to be dramatic in their lifestyles. With drama comes boastfulness. You are constantly comparing yourself, picking and choosing what you believe are admirable qualities. Instead rely on your own they are what attracted your spouse to you in the first place. Change isn’t always a good thing.
Love is not proud
Pridefulness is a character killer. It will stifle your flexibility. When one becomes two flexibility is a must have trait. The struggles that will come from the lack of flexibility will lead to character attacks. Oppression will set in, and the relationship will cease to grow, much less prosper.
Humility is key in any and all relationships and is a required ingredient in the fine tuning of a marriage.
Love does not dishonor
Men are the solid foundation of the family front. Especially if maintaining a biblical and Godly marriage. Men make the hard choices and Women are gentle persuasion. Spouses are to honor each other and their opinions. If honor is not a part of the relationship, trust is removed as well. As time goes on you will no longer see or feel the initial attraction. Deflate dishonor and build up honor. Support each other.
Love is not self-seeking
To me this is the same as boasting. Let’s just say if your ambitions, thoughts, or actions are self-motivated than there was no two to become one. You are in a relationship with yourself.
Love is not easily angered
Being the type of person who gets mad over little things means you will likely stay mad all the time. Frankly, being mad all the time is very unattractive and unacceptable in a relationship. It makes a person flat out ugly and unpleasant to be around.
I used to be good example of “easily angered”. My blood pressure was always high. I found no pleasure in life. I nitpicked everything and everyone in my vicinity. It wears people down to be easily angered and not only that it wears down those around you.
Love keeps no record of wrongdoing
Forgiveness. In my opinion the biggest asset in marriage is not only forgiving but forgetting. In the early days this was a big hurdle. Now it’s easy and enjoyable not to remember every offense. In keeping records, you find yourself replaying the event. In replaying the event you keep yourself worked up. Keeping yourself hyped for the next wrongdoing means you surely find it even if you have to create it. Just get in the habit of developing a thicker skin. Let things roll off you like water off a ducks back! Practice!
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth
In cultivating faith, it will lead to a heart of discernment. We are to hate the sin but love the sinner. Otherwise, they become stumbling blocks to us. Allowing a foothold for evil will most certainly kill your relationship. It will also rob you of the blessings instore for you.
Seeking truth in all things relives worry. When you know something is factual you feel no need to ponder. Sticking with truth shines the light on evil. When you see evil get rid of it! If it is beyond your control, ask God to remove it. He will give you the answer.
Love always protects, trust, hopes and perseveres
When you find someone that compliments you hang on to them, protect the relationship, trust them and God, hope in the future, this will lead to perseverance. Be intentional about your relationship. Delight in it with each other. Aging together definitely embellishes this.
Love never fails
There is no law against love. Love is a fruit of the spirit. When you commit your life to your faith the fruits will no doubt become part of that. Develop those fruits in your life and your relationship. You will be the example that your spouse will, perhaps unknowingly, follow. What God has joined together let no man put asunder.
Not all agree
I realize the differences amongst us. It is the free will and divine plan of God. I don’t question it. Instead, I move on from it. Hopefully you enjoyed this post.